Excellent Wife, your worth is far above jewels

Behind every great king is a great mother — King Lemuel’s mother taught him what to look for in a woman so that he would marry a woman of excellence. If you are a mother, you are in a powerful position – to teach your children the Word of God and to make sure that they receive wise instruction so that they, too, grow up and make good life decisions. In today’s society, many mothers feel that they are powerless against rebellious children, but this is not the case if you are willing to fight (it is a spiritual battle) for your children’s souls, lead them to Christ, and guard them and keep them in His way. King Lemuel learned from his mother advice for marrying a woman for life.

Proverbs 31:10-11 says, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”

If you are a woman who devotes herself to the things of God and in pleasing your husband, surely you are an excellent wife. This should build your self-esteem. The world tries to trample your self-esteem, the world tries to convince you that you aren’t a good mother, that you have somehow failed either your children or your husband, the world tries to pour all sorts of self-defeating thoughts into your mind. Do not listen to the wiles of the enemy, listen only to the Holy Spirit who can give you guidance and comfort and counsel.

An excellent wife is a Christian wife who prays for her family, prays for her husband, who “does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). An excellent wife is a Christian woman who obeys God and not man and who seeks to love her neighbors, act generously, and speak honorably of her husband.

Excellent wives, excellent women of God, your worth is far above jewels. Hear that – let it sink in deep into your heart. You are worth something. You aren’t without value, in fact, God in His very precious Word has said you are worth more than that diamond ring that is on your finger.

There are some women who look at their wedding ring and twirl it around sometimes thinking that they do not deserve it or that they are not good enough for their husbands. Stop that thinking right now! Put that behind you, because those self-degrading thoughts lead to depression and sadness, which are not of the Lord Jesus. Certainly, not every woman has a beautiful diamond wedding ring, and that’s also important – you don’t need one in order to be a Godly woman or in order to be loved. Some churches teach that diamonds are so worldly that we don’t need them. I respect that viewpoint, because surely love is greater than a diamond ring and our worth as women is far above jewels…but I think its a good sign of commitment especially in today’s divorce-stricken world to have a reminder on your finger every day of to whom you have made vows! The important thing is, you are worth more than anything you own, anything anybody owns, your life is valuable and worth living. Your life is precious to our Father in heaven, and even if you have been an excellent wife but maybe your husband doesn’t even recognize it, your reward is with God, and He knows you are worth more to Him than the most precious jewel.

The excellent wife is brilliant in His sight. Remember Proverbs 31:30, it is a good one to memorize, sisters – “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Praise God for you virtuous women of God. Be encouraged in your walk with the Lord. What you do will be rewarded, it is not in vain, and you are loved by so many more people than you even realize.

Strengthen the hands that are weak.

“Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God . . .” Hebrews 12:12-15

Many American women’s ministries appear to be focused on fellowship – there are sewing groups, baking sales, baby outings… and none of these things are bad. (I rather like the baking sales, yumm!!)

The content of the conversation is what must be monitored more carefully by the participants. Conversation that may begin with a prayer or devotional often degenerates into gossip or idle talk that does not edify, even when the gossip is “intended” to “help” another woman! Sometimes yes, we need to discuss things openly, but the Holy Spirit always alerts us if we are gossiping for the sake of gossiping. Women are particularly good at this because we love to talk and our caring natures make us want to talk about others, for good or for bad.

These verses from Hebrews help us to focus on what our conversations and actions should really be focused on: strengthening the hands which are weak and the knees that are feeble.

Churches have single women fellowships, 30-something fellowships, older women fellowships all broken up and they meet at different times on different days rather than interacting the way a Christian church should. Younger women in the church need to be interacting with the elderly women! They might resist, but what blessings abound in intergenerational activities. Why not have the elderly women’s quilting day, but the younger women bring their children that day? The elders will be blessed because they love children, too, and the younger women will learn wisdom from saints of God who have been in the faith for decades.Does every event need to be this way? No. But, it is a thought to consider the ways we are promoting division even when we don’t mean to. Strengthening the hands that are weak means a lot of things:

Literally helping those whose hands do not work well – these can be young men or women or older ones who used their hands for years but now struggle with daily activities. Strengthen their hands by lending a helping hand when needed without complaining that you too are tired.

Strengthening the hands that are weak is spiritual too. We are all members of the body of Christ, we are His hands and feet, but sometimes there is someone who struggles and needs encouragement. Strengthen that hand, strengthen that person, encourage them in the Holy Spirit.

As women, we need to strengthen our own hands that are weak. We do a lot. Cook. Clean. Wash dishes. Run the vacuum. Type on the computer. Lift up growing children who are getting too heavy! Tailoring clothes. It all adds up and we feel weak sometimes. We need to be wise enough to know our limits and humble enough to ask for help. We need to go to Jesus and ask Him to help us use our hands for His glory and be strengthened by His Word.

Whenever we feel weak, either physically or spiritually, we need to go to the Word of God who will strengthen us.

Maybe you’ve been praying for a miracle and haven’t seen it come to pass, yet. Your knees might feel feeble. Hold on to the hem of Jesus’ garment, and He will lift you up onto your feet, and by His Spirit who will have a straight path ahead of you and your hurting heart will be healed.

Even though we all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) we do not have to fall short of His grace (Hebrews 12:15). He is there to reach out and catch you – obey His Word – pursue peace with all people and holiness/sanctification —- without which Hebrews 12:14 warns us on one will see God. I challenge you to meditate on Hebrews 12:12-15 this week and pray in the Spirit for revelation on areas you might improve in so that you are strengthening the hands of your sisters who are weak and strengthening your own relationship with our Father in heaven!

Is your husband living on the corner of the roof?

So I noticed something the other day while reading through Proverbs. Just about every verse is in there once, right, because that’s usually enough for us to “get it.”

Apparently though, Solomon felt like he needed to repeat himself. In both Proverbs 21:9 AND Proverbs 21:19 you will find this truism in your Bible:

“It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

All right, women of God. Have you been “contentious” lately?

Miriam Webster defines “contentious” as “exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes.” Do you cause arguments or at least keep them going just for the sake of argument or because you want to get your point across even if it hurts your marriage?

Contentiousness used to be considered a source of shame, but now it seems that in today’s world contentious women are lauded as brave, as history-makers, and as accomplished. The world considers the wisest of women to be those who have “fought their way to the top” or who have “broken through glass ceilings.”

Look at the statistics. Top corporate female executives are often divorced and most leave the career before they have even reached their prime. Their contentiousness may have worked for them in making money, but they chose position over the subservient prestige that comes in being an honorable wife and mother. There is nothing wrong in and of itself for a woman who wants to pursue a career, and certainly God is raising up Christian woman to be active in executive roles. However, the moment the career takes precedence over the woman’s job to maintain a clean home and care for her children if she has them, this is the moment in which the woman must check if she is acting in accordance with the Word of God. In today’s culture, women who are obedient to God’s Word are considered “backward” and “unable to think for themselves.” Women who strive to be Proverbs 31 women are up against a big challenge.

Contentiousness is not a Godly quality. A Godly woman will be patient and kind, slow to anger, and exhibit the fruits of the Spirit. This is not to say that a Godly woman is not thoughtful and intelligent. A Godly woman may not be contentious, but may use wisdom and craft to formulate thoughts and words that are powerful in the spiritual realm and can open doors for that woman that may even lead to a high position in a career or in another occupation. The highest position, friends, is to be a faithful follower of Jesus Christ.

Admit it, ladies, when we are acting contentious, it probably is a good idea for your husband to head out of the house. Men are strong physically and can use that force in dangerous ways (I pray your husband has never hurt you physically – and if so, we can help you find refuge, because never ever is abuse acceptable, God wants you and your children to be safe). Women have less physical strength, and so how do we compensate? Women are strong in their words. Women can use words for building up or for tearing down, and both we do very well. James 3 reminds us that the tongue is a fire, so it can surely be destructive. We must guard our hearts – and our words. And in guarding our own hearts, women it is our responsibility to guard the hearts of our families and not do damage to the hearts of your loved ones.

If your husband feels like he’d rather climb a ladder and live on the roof, he is probably feeling isolated enough on the inside of the house by your words and actions that he figures he’d have at least a peaceful isolation if he heads outside. If you husband is living on the corner of the roof, he is probably feeling stung by your words and your bitterness, and while he might be a great Christian man, he might be really struggling with why the marriage is this way.

The best cause of action, women, is to stop. Stop and think about what you’re doing and if you feel you are being contentious, (other translations say “nagging”) it is time to repent. Confess your sin before God and ask God for help in overcoming this sin. If it is persistent for you, talk to your husband about it and ask him to pray with you.

If you aren’t sure, ask your husband if there are ever times in which he would rather live on the corner of the roof. I’m pretty sure every husband will say at least once in a while! And that’s ok. If it only happens once in a while and you’ve repented, that’s normal. But, if you are so contentious that it is causing tension in your marriage, woman of God, take notice and listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit who will give you conviction and will help you to overcome.

Be victorious. This can be a tough and long process in learning to be the Godly woman that God created you to be. Leave a comment, and we can talk about ways to continue in holiness and Godliness, Amen!

– Pastora Jennifer

****If you want to read more on a similar subject, check out this post at our regular church website on Speaking (the Truth) in ….. love!! **** Remember, just because you are speaking Truth, doesn’t mean you’re being loving about it. Love your husband, read the article, pray, and do something nice for the man. 🙂

Christmas (or any season) recipe

Ok, yes we know that women do a whole lot more than stay in the kitchen all day and cook. However, we also know that a lot of women aren’t so extremely feminist that they can bake for their husbands without complaining that they are without rights.

Want to try a new recipe? Here’s one I found recently, sisters, that has received rave reviews! (By the way, if you make a batch, aren’t you somehow obliged to visit us this Sunday, December 16 for our Christmas fiesta? Bring some goodies and let’s celebrate the goodness of the Lord, that He came to this earth as King of Kings and Lord of Lords!!)

Enjoy!

Love in Christ,

– Pastora Jennifer

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

1/2 pkg Pepperidge Farm Frozen Puff Pastry Sheets (1 sheet)

6 tbsp. creamy peanut butter

1 bar (4 oz) sweet baking chocolate, broken into 18 squares (I used Dove chocolates instead!)

2/3 cup miniature marshmallows

THAW pastry sheet at room temperature 40 min.

Preheat oven to 400 F.

UNFOLD pastry on lightly floured surface. Roll into 18″X9″ rectangle. Cut into 18 (3″) squares. Press squares into 3″ muffin-pan cups. Place 1 tsp. peanut butter in center of each. Top with one square chocolate and 3 marshmallows.

BAKE 12 minutes or until golden. Cool in pan on wire rack 10 minutes. Remove from pan and cool on wire rack. Makes 18 pastries.

Trying something new….

We at Raveh church decided to see what would happen if we started another blog and linked it to the main blog for the rest of the church.

For now, this is just an experiment so bear with us. But, ideally this will be for our women’s ministry!

Check out our real blog at Raveh Church, Raleigh, NC